Light?

Today I finally see some light. I got up, took the kids (Levi and KC) to the vet to get bathed. I came back home and started to clean the house. I am not sure why I am cleaning? The house keeper is coming Friday but for some reason I have this desperate urge to just clean, to stay busy, to stay focused and on a mission.

I took the tree down and Marlie and I had a few laughs of us trying to get it out the door. Thanks goodness the lawn people are taking care of it, I hope to hell they take the stand with it because I promise, next year I'll have an easier tree stand! Sorry Richie, but the cheap one is getting tossed.

I am also finally taking some things to Goodwill. I bagged up a lot of his things several months ago but instead of taking them to Goodwill right away I put them all in a closet. Ten large trash bags of his things! Who knew Richie had so many clothes?!? But I went through and found a couple of bags with his old things in it and I am going to take it today so someone else can benefit from it. When I opened the bags I was overwhelmed by his smell- Clinique for Men. I had to sit there for a moment to gather the courage to start looking through them again. So I finally got the bags picked out and put in the car to take them. Now I just have to get my energy focused on getting in the shower.

But today I see some light again. The last three days have been the darkest I can remember in a long time. I won't say they are the darkest because back right after he died I was very dark. But I think back then I was still in some sort of shock because the darkness didn't seem quite as dark. But this time, it was dark.

So...today the light is peaking through and I hope that it keeps working its way towards me as I approach the end of the year.