Christmas Letter to Richie

12/11/07

Dear Richie,

As I sit down to write you this letter so many things come to mind that I want to share with you. I first want to wish you a very Merry Christmas…when I think of the celebration in Heaven I realize that you are seeing and experiencing things that we down here on earth can only imagine. As much as I miss you I know that you are where you need to be and are saving us all a place up there next to you at the table.

I am doing better this second Christmas without you. I won’t lie, last year was pretty horrible. I know that you watched me as I fought my way through it and I felt your admiration as you saw me have the courage to not give up. I think that is why I tried so hard to not give up, I know you would want me to live the life that you can no longer have on this earth. I had so many ups and downs and felt many days like I was completely losing it but I continued to fight because I knew at some point the pain would not be as intense, and this year, it isn’t.

Levi is holding up…he is getting a little older and a little slower but he is doing well. He is sleeping inside when it gets cold just like you taught me to do for him and he manages to snore louder than me on occasion! He and KC are best friends and some nights they even sleep on the same blanket in front of the fire!

Mom and dad are doing well. The farm is still the same, dad continues to “collect” things and Brad has become his “farmer in training.” He has gone over and carried on our tradition of cutting firewood and when he talks about it he does that “Funhouse” grin from ear to ear. I think it has been good for dad to have him enjoy it as much as you did…I think it has helped heal my dad’s broken heart over losing you. Mom has really helped me a lot. At first I was so mean to everyone, trying to push them away to hide the hurt but I finally realized that what I was going through was normal and as much as I wanted to “heal” fast I couldn’t…I had to take it one step at a time.

Laurie, Trey and Emie are doing so well…they built a new house that you would just love and now have a fourth member of their family- Edward. He is so cute Richie. Emie is the doting little sister and she hasn’t changed much except she has gotten a little more bossy but who can blame her... look at her gene pool. She never stood a chance. She has mentioned your name from time to time and Laurie tells me that she prays every night for you in her prayers…so you are always close on her heart. I know Laurie and Trey miss you a lot…your name is always mentioned in their home and they have continued to help me heal and for that I will forever be grateful.

Chuck, Michelle and the crazy Conerly’s are doing well too. Caroline is growing up so much! You wouldn’t even believe it. And my sweet little Sam…he has that Georgia Tech mind that made you and Pop Pop so special. He’s so kind and when we talk on the phone we always have a contest on “who loves each other more.” He has my heart. Oh and Latson, can’t forget him…he has the energy of a thousand light bulbs! That child never stops! He is all over the place and poor Michelle seems to always be chasing him!

The D-Team is healing too…those first few months were hell for all of us. I practically lived at Rad and Helen’s. Every time I saw Jarrett I cried…I actually still do to this day. Their children are growing up…Derek and Lori’s twins are amazing and so incredible to watch. Austin and Sloan are so special to me…I guess a part of me realizes that to carry on your memory I need to always stay in their lives. And Jace, oh Richie, he is so cute…looks just like Michelle but has Jarrett’s smile. Michelle sends me text messages from him all the time and I think he must smile every day.

Finally…I know you would want to hear that I saw your mom the other night for the first time. It was very hard for both of us but it felt so right to see her. When I saw her hands I remembered how yours looked just like here’s and you favored her in so many ways. She tells me that your dad and Kim are doing ok. She said Kim has had a rough time with it but that she seems to be doing better. They all miss you so much Richie and I know that nothing in their lives will ever be the same but I do know they are not giving up and they continue to honor you in their lives each and every day.

You would be so proud of all of us…we have all fought the fight as much as we can through this. It has been a tough few years but I am so proud to say none of us gave up. We have stayed close and not grown apart. I am so lucky that you were in my life for the short time I had you and I am so blessed that you gave me such a wonderful group of friends. I know without them or my family I would not have made it through the hard times.

Well Fred Day…it is time for me to say goodbye. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. I know you will continue watching me and I know that you have a hand in my life daily…and I know that you are proud of me for opening up my heart and letting someone else in. It was hard to understand how to do that but each day John helps me and we continue to work together to have an amazing relationship. He values the life I had with you and I know that he will continue to do so and that is what makes me think that somehow you and God worked out this plan for me to meet him.

Richie, a part of my heart will always be with you and one day I can’t wait to see you again to share some of this journey with you face to face. You were an amazing person who touched my life and for that I will forever be indebted.

Merry Christmas Fred Day...

Love,
Stacie