When I woke up this morning you were my first thought. I wondered if you were getting dressed for your Christmas dinner in heaven. I actually wondered were you able to tie your tie or did someone have to help you and if so, who was it? What suit did you wear since what you owned are all down here with me? Or did you have to wear a suit...were you able to wear your Carharts and boots with your favorite hat? Or did you wear one of the other two hats I put in the casket with you? The new Jackson Hole one that you loved or your PIC hat to show everyone where you worked?
Silly thoughts, I know...but I can't help but wonder these things.
Richie, today is so sad without you. I'm a half of a whole and I'm empty. I have your ring on my left hand. It feels good to have it there today. To remind me that you are my husband still in so many ways.
I have cried so much that my face is swollen...I never knew I would be able to cry as much as I did that week you died but I guess the last two days have proven me wrong. Every time I saw the kids playing I thought of how you always played so much with Sam. I remember last year when we said goodbye to everyone you leaned over to Latson and he grabbed your hat and pulled it off your head.
I am here alone at our home thinking about you constantly today. I hope that you are with Grandpa, Pop Pop, MeeMaw, Ma Ma Bea and your grandfather all at God's table. I hope you are eating cream cheese and salsa, quesadillas and "colsh."
Please look down on me today and let me feel you there. I have felt this desperate urge to get in the car and drive around but I realized that I would only be looking for you and you are not there.
I love you Richie.
Footprints
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