Life Changes

Wow...I'm selling the house...there are changes going on here at work, I'm dating...life is changing and I'm trying hard to just go with the changes.

I'm not sure where I'm going though and what these changes will mean? I'm not looking for someone to marry...I'm not looking for anything serious...I am the complete opposite of all my single friends. Yeah, I'm lonely and I want to have someone to do things with but I also am so protective of my heart these days. I will meet someone, start to like them but I also realize I don't put all my cards on the table. I hide my being a widow for the most part. I do this for two reasons- one I hate that that is what people define me by when they find out. Secondly, I know that when I let someone in to that part of my life I am vulnerable. I do not want to be vulnerable and I don't want pity.

Confusing huh? It's even more so in my head and heart! One minute I think, "Ok, I've got this." Then the next I am all emotionally wrapped up into something or someone and I lose control again. See...I'm all over the map with this!

The house selling is going well. I have had a lot of people look at it and there are a couple of people that are looking promising? I hope so...I know selling is going to be crazy, I mean, where am I going to go?! But I know that if I go ahead and sell it I will be glad I did and maybe, just maybe with all the things going on in my life the hurt won't settle in too much because I won't have time to think about it.

Saying goodbye to my home will be hard but saying goodbye to the life I had with Richie there is going to be even tougher. But, I'm ok...I am really ok.