Chapter 2

This is what us Widows call life after the death of our husbands. It is weird to type that because at 32 years old I feel as if I should still be only a little ways into Chapter 1 of my life. Now I have to fast forward to Chapter 2? It is so confusing.

This dating thing, it is interesting. I've met someone that I think I like more than most, no, that isn't fair, I know I like him more than most. He is nothing like anyone I have ever dated. He's not what I would have ever considered my type...in fact, more than likely he doesn't know how to drive a tractor and believe me, where I come from that is a must! But I like him all the same. We have been on the typical dinner/movie date and he has come here to have dinner once. That of course was strange because this is "my space" or well, "our space" and to invite a guy over is just weird every time I do it. But it was different this time. I guess because he's so different and didn't know me before? See, the others I have dated or done things casually with, they knew me before. He doesn't. All he knows is what I tell him and what he sees when he is around me.

I didn't tell him about Richie until the 3rd date. I just wasn't sure how to tell him or how I wanted to tell him. I knew that to me, the details of Richie's death are my cross to bear and it is something almost sacred to me. Strange, I know, but I still haven't told him much past just that I was married to Richie and that he passed away suddenly. It will take a lot of trust to tell him more than that and it will take a little more time for me to even consider it. Right now it just feels right to spend time with him and get to know him.

Dating at 32 and widowed are so crazy. I find myself holding back more, listening more, not getting all jumpy and nervous about the small aspects of dating...you know, what to wear, what will he think when he sees my house or whatever? Those things just don't seem to hold a great deal of meaning anymore. I look more now at how he reacts to things, situations and to me when I ask my ridiculous questions.

Who knows where this is going or if it will go much further but I am learning so much about the new Stacie every day and again, so far, I think I like her.