Would If He Came Back?

Someone in my support group asked this and for the last few days it has stayed with me. What if Richie came back? What if there was some divine intervention and he walked in the door? What would he say? How would he see me now? Would he be proud of me and the decisions I have made? The questions go on and on in my mind but I have tried to piece together what he would find…

He would find a wiser wife than the one he left. He would find a strong woman who isn’t afraid to speak her mind and live her life the way she wants to. Now, at first this would probably confuse him…even though I was always “independent” to a degree there were moments when he wished I were more so. I think he would smile and nod his head in the “Richie” fashion and say, “alright, alright, alright, that’s my pretty lady.”

I know without a doubt he would be proud of how I have handled his “affairs.” At first this was something I worried about all the time…I questioned every single decision and I asked Rad all the time if I was doing the right thing. He always assured me that I was but only now at 10 months do I actually trust that statement. I have done a good job and I know that I handled things the way my husband would because he is the one who taught me the most about finances and things of that nature. So I know he would walk in, want to see the checkbook and other statements but after pouring over it all for hours he would come and find me and tell me he was proud.

After we got over the shock of him being back I let myself think of what our marriage would be like. I know there are areas that I would be different towards him. I know that now that I can see just how fast a life can be taken I would cherish every single day I had with him. But I would also know how hard we really had to work to make our marriage a successful one, but I would also know that after what we had been through, Richie and I had what it took. We would have an amazing marriage and partnership. We would respect each other and always put our marriage first. We would lean on God to show us the right path to take with our future, our children and our lives as a whole.

If Richie came back…he would find someone different in so many ways…and this question made me realize how proud I should be of myself. I have accomplished so much in the last several months and I have made some hard decisions but I made them the way God lead me to because I leaned on Him to show me.

God, I know Richie is with you and even though I do want him back so badly that my heart feels like it is breaking, I know that he is happy with you in heaven and he’s waiting just like I am for the day we see each other again.