Memories

My emotions this week are all over the place. You would think it was because of Valentine's Day tomorrow but it's not.

I realized last night that every memory I have of Richie that is fresh in my mind happened last January, February, March and April. The last four months he was alive. January we went skiing with the group to North Carolina as we did every year for 6 years. We didn't have much snow up there but of course that did not stop us all from having fun. We parked his new truck next to the mountain and jammed out to all our favorite songs (or well, to Richie's favorite songs as was always the case). We played games, drank beer and laughed a lot. Brad, as usual, brought one of his "toys," a giant sling shot. Richie, Greg, Jarrett and Brad spent every night slinging snow towards the bottom of the mountain. I think Richie said a hundred times, "Guys, I think we just hit a house." We danced on the deck, told stories and laughed even more.

Tomorrow, one year ago, Richie and I went to Ruth's Criss Steakhouse for Valentine's. I was leaving the next day to go to Chicago for work. We drove down in his new truck, he was still so proud of it, and we both agreed our anniversary dinner at Bones was better. We had a nice table in the corner next to the fireplace and we discussed children. We decided to start trying as soon as my trips were over in March. We figured if I got pregnant before Jackson Hole I would still be ok because it was be still so early. We later changed our minds to wait until July but I will never forget sitting there talking to my husband about it. We even talked about education funds and getting in touch with Rad about setting up more life insurance. I will never forget that conversation. It was one of the most important conversations we had ever had about our future together. I was so in love with Richie at that moment. He was becoming the man I knew that he would be when I first fell in love with him.

In a few weeks I know the memory of Jackson Hole is going to come crashing down on me. Our quiet moments skiing side by side on the cross county runs. Not talking, just skiing side by side. Sitting up in the log cabin resturant on the mountain and sharing a pitcher of beer. Reading all the history that was posted on the walls and him telling me that my dad would be so excitd to read about the indian history. Richie in his neon green/gray Patagonia coat telling me that being up there was the best feeling he had ever had because it was such and awesome view...and "Stacie, get out your phone and take a picture." So I did...I will cherish that picture forever. Richie isn't in it but I know he was standing to the right of me when I took it so when I look at it I see what he was seeing. I was seeing the view from his eyes...

Happy Valentine's Day Richie...tomorrow I may not get my three roses from you but I know that you are sending me love from heaven.