Stronger

I'm stronger now...just a year ago going into the holidays I was not doing that well. I was so nervous about Halloween because its like the "door opening" holiday that leads into the big holidays. Thanksgiving then Christmas then New Years...the day that NO ONE wants to not have a date!

But this year I have found out I am stronger this go around and it feels good. I am standing up for myself...I will no longer be a doormat for certain people and I have realized that if I am going to get upset over something and cry it had better be something damn good. This week I cried and then I got angry...really angry. I was crying over something so trival, so petty, so ridiculously elementary compared to everything I went through when Richie died. How could I let something so small get me so upet? I don't want to be like that and I am stronger than that.

Life is short...and we have to live it to the fullest. We have to remember who our friends are and only surround ourselves with positive influences. We have to keep those close to us that only enhance our lives, not bring them down.

I guess I am realizing that I can take great knowledge from what I've been through and it is time now for me to stand on my own and be strong for myself. I want to be happy, I want to love and love as much as I can, and I want to only have people around me who I can count on each and every day and I know in return I am giving them all I can give back.

God, I ask that you please help me forgive those who have hurt me but to also be able to hold myself up and do what is best for me. I pray that you show me the roads to take to accomplish this and I thank you for every friend I have that has supported me and have let me lean on them in every weak moment. Richie, thank you for being a part of my life and for teaching me things each day we were together. I am taking these things forward and will learn from all our greatest accomplishments together and also all of our mistakes.