Returning Home...

I am sitting in the Charles de Gaul airport lounge waiting for my flight. I've been uploading pictures to myspace and smiling at all the memories I created these past 10 days.

To say this trip has changed my life would be an understatment. Maybe it makes no sense to anyone else out there but I am coming back different. I traveled somewhere by myself...no, not completely by myself but it was all up to me to get here, to pay for things, to see things and to experience Italy and Paris for myself.

I am no longer the widow...the girl who lost her husband at 31 years old. I know there are many people who will always identfy myself as that girl, but I am no longer her to myself. Just being here, half way around the world...seeing all the different ways of life. The different cultures, traditions and every day occurances has made me shed that widowness.

It no longer is my definition and I will no longer feel as if that is the most important thing someone should know about me when they meet me. I won't be scared to share that part of me but it won't be the defining characteristic of myself.

I'm excited to come home but sad to leave. This has been an incredible trip and I will cherish it forever. Even if I come back, this trip will be the most important to me.

God, please be with me as I fly home today...you gave me something in this trip that I am eternally greatful for and I know that this time has helped me heal in many ways.

Richie, I still love you with all my heart but slowly, that love is now deeper in different way. I know that you were with me as I flew over the alps, I felt you there. I love you Richie, and I know that you are proud of me...I think of you every single day.