5 Years...

Its been a while since I posted a blog here and I'm not even sure who still reads... I just needed to write at this moment because 5 years ago, right about now, Richie died. I had a moment of silence in my backyard to kind of honor it and him. I have had a hard time last night and today understanding how 5 years has passed. I cried a little and then on the way into work today I listened to Gov't Mule and "One." I thought of that last morning and getting ready with him for work. I thought about what his last ride to work was like. What was he thinking about, what were his thoughts on the day, the week, our trip to the beach in a few weeks. Then I thought of what he was thinking now, is he really able to? Or is it just nice to "believe" that they are up there watching us? I know its a good feeling and it makes me feel good to think he and Levi are up there hanging out and watching over us in between all their new adventures. But its hard to understand why he can't just be here on earth...even it it wasn't with me...just let him be alive? It seems like a lifetime ago and then it seems like yesterday. I can imagine his face so perfectly today. Probably because of the picture I put on Facebook. But its there and he looks so real, so alive. Richie...not a day goes by you aren't in my thoughts. It may be something small like a sound or a smell...or even a song, but you are there, never far from my heart. I will always love you and I will always remember the best days and you know, I will always remember the bad ones too because they make our story real. Rest in peace Fred Day...rest in peace. Love, Stacie